Day 1 of 366: Reflections and Resolutions

January has come and I’m excited for what is to come. But first I need to look back, leading me to press on. I need to remember how the Lord has pulled me throughout last year.

How my Father stepped in and released me from the grips of legalism when it wanted to eat me up, I’m still in awe;

How He made me see how hopeless I was without Him, I could never express enough how thankful I am;

How I was constantly wallowing in self condemnation, and He delivered me from that;

How He miraculously made a way out of a drastic punishment my sister and I deserved as a result of a terrible wrong we had committed, I cannot begin to comprehend;

How He miraculously broke the chains of pornography in my life, I know not what to say;

How He baptized me in His Son and His Spirit, I cannot give thanks enough;

How He enormously blessed me with new family and friends in Christ, my words cannot do enough justice expressing my gratitude;

And although I found myself straying far away from Abba, He drew me back time and time again. Whether it was through music, through online Christian figures, through my friends and family, or through the church, He found a way to encourage me and strengthen me and give me hope that He is still there and He still desires me to draw near to Him. He did not and has not given up on me.

Even though my thoughts were vile last year, even though after getting released from the chains of pornography, I still had these terrible lingering lustful thoughts in my head revolving around God’s creation around me, even though I did such a terrible thing as have these thoughts, He still did not give up on me. He still heard my prayers. He knew it was hard. He knew I struggled to get rid of it. He knew it was a battle. However, He also knew I didn’t talk to Him enough about it. I cried about it, I almost hated myself for it, but I didn’t draw nearer to God because of it. I strayed farther, but He was still faithful. Even though His creation ceases to be faithful, God cannot deny Himself; He is forever faithful. He didn’t strike me down because I had these deranged thoughts. He still loved me. He still gave me people to talk to and share my burdens with. He continually encouraged me all the more through His word and the people around me, telling me He will never leave me and that it will all pass away when Christ comes again.

Last year, I was not perfect. I have never been and will never be, at least while we’re here on earth in these bodies. In fact, no one will ever be, but for we who are in Christ, the work He started in us, He will bring to completion, on that day that He returns. We will be made perfect on that day, and become stripped of these dead sinful bodies and resurrected into spiritual bodies. Yes! We will! Oh what a day to await! But while I’m here on earth, I will choose to continually serve the God that created me, the God that has delivered me from so much through out last year. The God that never gave me reasons not to thank Him. The God that came down so I could be with Him, so I could have a relationship with Him. The God that never gave up on me last year. So I will ever be more faithful to my Father, and it will be only by His strength.

This year, as I look forward to the new relationships, a continual growth and an increased dedication to God, He will do whatever He knows is good for His child and if it means leading me to newer people, or strengthening the relationships I already have, then so be it. If it means growing in Him, and it definitely does, He will help me grow in my relationship with Him. As I wish to manage my time better in this new year, as I choose to be a better steward of the things He has graced me with in this life, I pray He guides me, and strengthens me as I do so.

As I have seen His goodness displayed in His Word and in my life, time and time again, I choose to press on, I choose to hold fast, I choose to keep the faith, until the race is finished and the work is done. And my Father is with me, enabling me to do so, until the end.

Have a blissful year, saints and see you all tomorrow…on my next post! Yes, I plan to blog all 366 days of the year. I do hope you enjoy this journey with me! ♥️

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