This is Bothering Me

It’s day two and I’m still reflecting on how my past has been, specifically in the parts of my life that need to improve. One being the fact that I have the tendency to assume answers when I receive none; more like when I don’t get responses, or feedbacks on things that do not necessarily need one.

It can be my birthday and I start overthinking why some certain people didn’t wish me. I start to assume they’ve cut me off, or they don’t like me anymore. I start wondering if it’s because I didn’t wish them, if indeed I did not. Then I start to convince myself that maybe they were busy and preoccupied because when I don’t wish people, it’s majorly because I’m so busy, or I forgot, or I simply don’t know you. I just can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that some people don’t like me anymore and have cut me off. It bothers me so much to the point I can start abhorring hard feelings for them, not even taking into consideration that they could have seen my message or remembered my birthday but had no opportunity to reply or wish me. And of course, when I finally receive an explanation or a wish later, it makes me feel bad for the assumptions I made but it repeats itself again.

On the other hand, I also seem to forget that following Christ makes one lose worldly friends and that’s a painful truth and a truth that probably explains the cutting off, if I was indeed cut off. So it shouldn’t really matter if people have cut me off, if they did so because they simply don’t like me following Christ or can’t come to terms with the way I follow Christ, because indeed we would be hated by the world for walking the paths of Christ.

However, I don’t think some have cut me off because of that. I think some have, because of my lack of communication. Because of how I can literally go up to a year, if not more, without talking to who I call a friend. And when its due to this reason, I assume, I feel saddened because it dawns on me that that friend is now a stranger; that we’ve successfully fallen out. And this is what bothers me.

I seriously need to change. I need to make efforts in keeping up with my friends because this life is not about me. I need to live for others because without the selfless act of my Father, I would be eternally doomed. Remembering that a better use of time can stir a person in the direction of Christ, or even strengthen or encourage them in their walk with Christ, is my main drive for keeping in contact with my friends, because eternity is at stake.

And so I will consecrate this resolution to my Father and pray that He helps me, and strengthens me to actively and continually execute it.

Have a beautiful day my loves ^~^

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