I spent the 13th of February doing a few things, including having a zoom meeting with my “Gals” about singleness, dating, and marriage in a way that honors the Lord. It was quite timely for me because I had recently been struggling with my feelings for an unbeliever, to the point where I was considering pushing away what I believe for a chance for something “more” to happen between us. My thoughts were once again overwhelmed with thoughts of him, fantasizing about what could be and what I would want. I started to idolize him and considered strengthening that idolism by watching a rom-com drama that would further fuel it. By God’s grace, I did not indulge in such a drama but I still entertained unhelpful thoughts instead of taking it captive to the Word of God.
During the meeting, I was reminded by a lot of things, convicted in a lot of areas, and learnt new ways of approaching things. First off, what I should remember before anything is that God pursues me actively. So before I consider dating, I should seek to be reconciled first to God, which by His grace shown through Christ, I am. But even nonetheless, I should choose to lean into my first and foremost husband, God my Creator. My joy should be hinged on Him, and not on the boy that I have feelings for, or even my friends that I hang with. God is most glorified when I am most satisfied in Him (John Piper). And so I am working towards entering a season that I am just enjoying the Lord to the fullest (a season I hope never ends).
And as I have realized that my sadness and heavy heart is often linked with discontentment, it is good that I was refreshed on the fact that where I’m at presently is sufficient, because in Jesus, God has given me everything I need to fulfil my purpose in life. I do not need to be married or be a mom to do that. These things are simply just a reflection of a greater reality; only a shadow of a more real thing: Christ’s love for me! Earthly marriage or sexual activity is not the end goal for me. The end goal is the glorification of God in every area of my life.
Working towards how I can hallow God’s Name where I’m at (School primarily), is where its at. What is God’s will for me? Who should I get married to? When do I get married? Do I even get married? God reveals His will for me through my steps of obedience. Through that, He guides me. So I should continue serving, being active in pursuing the Lord, being a sister in Christ to my brothers and sisters, and being a faithful daughter to my parents, for in these, is the will of God shown.