Relationships | Part Three | Responses

Part One, Part Two

Here’s a recap if you wouldn’t want to reread or bother to read those two, although it will give more clarity. Well, so far, I have been speaking about how my mind tends to quickly attach to people of the opposite gender because I spend a lot of time with them, and how through time, I have been responding to the feelings I’ve had.

For guy A, we prematurely dated and I wasn’t a Christian then. For guy B, we did not particularly date but there were some sort of an innocent fling and by this time, I was in the ‘transitioning’ Christian phase. By the time guy C came along, I was a Christian but he was a muslim so I used a good portion of the numerous times we spent together to share the gospel with him and continually prayed for his salvation — still do. And so now, I’m sharing the story about guy D.

Okay so about guy D.

Well, that was the beginning of this semester and it wasn’t something too major. I had mini feelings for him because I conversed a lot with him last semester into this one but I had never met him before physically (I met him through my friend). I can count it as another product of constant interaction and proof that one can have feelings for two people at the same time but definitely to different degrees. I didn’t even realize I liked him until January this year or thereabout. I liked guy C to a much higher degree though but I was thankful for my friendship with guy D because he was a practicing Christian. We had both Christ-like and general conversations that were encouraging, caring and thought-provoking. I taught him stuff and I learnt a lot of things from him as well, but we never dated. Thankfully, I am still friends with him now and although I know my feelings for him are gone (they basically went when he started dating someone), I’m glad we still have these conversations from time to time.

Lessons so far?

  • Guard your heart
  • Set your priorities straight
  • Let your primary focus be Christ

With that being said, I know I didn’t do a good job of putting a reign on my feelings but constantly, God uses the mis-happenings of sinful man for His glory. I grew in patience, understanding, knowledge and care and experienced the burden over the lost.

I forgot to mention but there is another guy, guy E and…

I think he is God’s answer for Him to take away my strong feelings for guy C. I don’t even plan on telling anyone about him and have only told one of my close friends who he is. The reason why I refrain from talking too much about it is because it will feed my mind on him and that’s not very helpful for me. Because while I have some feelings for him, I’m trying to control it from getting too strong by keeping up my wall a bit and limiting my conversations with him (although, we hardly talk). And oh, I forgot to mention, but I think he’s the very first person I’ve ever had feelings for that wasn’t affiliated with constant interactions and meet ups, because that haaardly ever happens between guy E and I. I think what drew my attention was his maturity in Christ, how he’s so bent on helping people understand the gospel and how he’s also very intentional on having gospel-centered conversations.

However, I am keeping my distance (although my thoughts are not doing a very good job at it), because I know this is probably the right response to deal with my feelings. I am not ready for a relationship. I know right now, my sole focus should be on Christ and then school. I know myself and so I know I wouldn’t be able to balance school with relationships, while trying to build intimacy with Christ. Because by the time I feel ready to get into one, I want to have been somewhat mature in Christ, although I know Christians’ growth in Christ is a journey completed when He comes again.

And this ladies and gents, is the end of the relationship series…for now. I’ll leave it at this until when next I can digest more and see what God has in store for me.

Have a lovely day saints! xx

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