Beautiful Rollercoaster

It has been a while, seven days I think. The last time I went this long without posting was last year, but it was a freeing experience. Just not being held by the obligation to update everyday. But that aside, my time this week has been an oddly good one.

From having at least one zoom call everyday rooted in Christ, catching up with friends I haven’t been in touch with in a while, finding out one of my friends is from a christian background, having a conversation with my muslim friend that is doubting the faith system and has started leaning toward evolution, crying with my friends that hurt and watching myself do something I evidently struggled with, while growing up: taking their burdens as my burdens, having my sister open up to me and cry and pray together, to finally praying for people I have been meaning to, today.

Amidst all of these, I have seen my faith challenged as I found myself wavering in the assurance I had in Christ, and my sin exposed as I found that I tend to cower in fear and back away from matters that involve me really explaining the truth to someone who is believing a false gospel, because it involves me doing an in-depth study of the Word which I view myself as inadequate to.

But just yesterday, I was reminded of two truths.

First off, because of a question that my friend asked me pertaining to my certainty of if I would be gone, when the rapture comes, I was forced to address the doubt that I had been feeling in my heart recently, that I had been running away from. I remembered that just the day before, my friend had mentioned that since we don’t do anything to earn our salvation, then we cannot lose it (and even one of the dedicated people that read this blog has told me this before). Although when she said it, it wasn’t even linked to assurance, the moment my friend asked me that question, after a momentary feeling of fear, I remembered that truth and got assured once again and now I feel an unwavering faith in me that I haven’t felt in recent times. This, I believe, was the Holy Spirit’s doing.

Aside from that, as I was nearing the end of my quiet time with God yesterday evening, I almost suddenly felt a wave of peace come over me. I realised that indeed, in myself, I am inadequate but in Christ, He is my adequacy and my strength. In Him, I find my confidence. When I realized this once again, I found myself smiling.

I would tell you, it has been a rollercoaster ride this week, both peaceful and turbulent, but it was a beautiful rollercoaster ride all in all, and if I could go through it all over again, I would. However, the only looking back I would be doing is reflecting on the goodness of the Lord in my life and in my friends’.

I wish you safety and a lovely week ahead. I do not promise consistency but I will try to be.

Have a beautiful night loves and p.s. tomorrow is my sister’s birthday!!!

(I forgot to post this on the 28th and the day into the 29th, but as my sister’s birthday is on the 29th, I had to shift back the publication date to when I had finished typing this post, which was yesterday night, the 28th).


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