Leading

Imagine my heart when I realized that I had recently been invited to a training for christian university students, who would be leading or co-leading a small group at a certain bi annual christian conference, specifically the first one of the two which is happening next month.

whew, take a breath.

I started to think of my life from last year till now. I began to process things and reflect on the words of encouragement of growth I had been getting from people. Like, I’m legit growing. Like, y’all, the Holy Spirit is working in me and I have been bearing fruits. Even though some days may feel so out and odd, on a wider scale, when reflected upon, something is changing. And to be very honest, I don’t really notice it, but when I do, I do, and then later forget about it at times, when struggles come. Sigh.

However, the people around me seem to be witnesses to what the Lord is doing in my life, which could explain the invite. It’s pretty exciting to think about, to be honest! From past year April or there about, when I gave my truly surrendered my life to Christ, as in, no trying to earn anything, till now, I know I am not the same person. I seem to remember now, more than before to always want to run to scripture and see what it says for itself, than eat up the words of others, especially when they claim to be speaking the words of Jesus. You see, those kind of things are sketchy because when I hear supposed words of Jesus spoken in dreams and/or visions and they contradict with the whole message of the bible, and I see people rushing to believe these things in the name of ‘true’ holiness, I get shook. Although, few times, like a few days ago, I waver. But, like I have been saying recently, as God would have it, I have His Word near to me and in my heart and I have people around me to help point me back to truth.

Oh Serena, you’ve wandered off again.

This post began with leading and so I will steer us back. Leading or co-leading a small group isn’t even something I take lightly because for one, it is a project for steering people to Christ and two, I really really really don’t fancy leading speech-related things. And people who know me find it very hard to believe that I am shy and I struggle to ‘prove’ myself to them. Imagine >o< . So see, I am two contrasting things things, in two ways: One, I am quite loud, bubbly and joyous, yet I am shy and to myself; I really don’t know how to really explain it though. I guess you can simply call me an omnivert:

An Omnivert defined by the dictionary:

Someone who is an introvert and extrovert. Can be extremely introverted when presented with situations they don’t want to be in or don’t care about, but on the other hand, be the life of the party when they are enjoying themselves and want to be there. Both a very quiet, reserved person and loud, outgoing.

Secondly, I frown a lot, yet smile a lot (frown when I am really concentrating, and smile when I am interacting with people). People have literally called me things relating to those: someone who frowns a lot, and someone who is always happy and hardly gets moody (I wish). So I’m like ‘_’ who are you, Serena? oh well, too much thinking for the day.

Oh and yes, I engaged, again, in my specialty: diverting. So I steer us back again.

All in all, leading, specifically, leading a small group at the conference (F.O.C.U.S. – Fellowship Of Christian U.A.E. Students) is something I am truly looking forward to, but something I am glad is still quite far away.

Have a beautiful night loves! 🌹❤🌹

An off guard picture of me that can be used to express my feelings towards leading: an anxious joy.

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