I was going to talk about how badly my day went on Thursday. About how I took my time and energy to invite people around me bearing in mind that these people were likely going to decline. Having to persevere and try and convince them a bit more, sacrificing the ‘introvertness’ in me that people refuse to believe I have and which I hope not to have, but keeps being eminent in my heart. About how God finally got moved four people’s hearts to go with me but how we ended up missing it, because of me. About how, because of taking on too much, I managed to miss the timing of when to leave for the event that if we had left the moment we could, we would have missed most of the discussion. About how I was so devastated, I don’t remember the last time I ever cried that much. But I won’t talk about that.
Because although indeed God used that as an opportunity to probably discipline me on wisdom and time management, I’ve been washed and overwhelmed by more pressing issues, not that a chance for God to discipline me isn’t important. It is. But I see that around me and even my friends online, not everyone seems to be as ‘blessed’ as me. I find myself complaining about the ‘little’ I have, but people are in much worse cases and although they probably aren’t the happiest about it, they literally still cope SO well. Okay, I didn’t get to go to that event. Okay. Like girl, there would always be more opportunities to share the gospel as long as you’re still alive and Jesus hasn’t returned. No need to cry that much.
Each time I think about it, I realise that I truly take my blessings for granted. The very fact that I’m alive and writing this now, is a blessing; a very big blessing in itself. The fact that I’m sheltered and don’t have to worry about accommodation. The fact that I have enough clothes to wear. The fact that even though the cost to eat healthy may be too high, I can still manage to eat for the most of a month. The fact that I have easy access to water. The fact that I can easily video call someone or study in beautiful air conditioned, lightened places. The fact that I haven’t witnessed no power in almost a year now. The fact that I never really have to think about power and also not having data, because I would soon connect to wifi anyway. The fact that I have a good laptop to do my school work and type and do most of what I wish to do with it. The fact that my dad could afford to take me to this country and this school that I’m in.The fact that my dad was able to fend for my textbooks and other school materials. The fact that I’m even schooling! Yo. I rest my case mahn, cuz if I go on…
Lord, thank You for Your reproof and discipline. I thank You that You’ve continually provided for me and been my sustainer even though I’ve failed to recognize it multiple times. Thank You. And thank You for my friends.
Have a great night loves. ❤🌹❤
Being Found In The Vine 