A Little Too Much?

I’m getting overwhelmed. The thought of the amount of things I have to do this week has been distracting me during my classes.

I think I may have accepted a little bit too much. Because the thing is, it’s not only this week. It’s a recurring thing I’ve set for myself. I have a lot of free time on Saturdays but this week’s own is completely packed and I HAVE to study. The materials have started getting complicated and it’s only the second week. I resorted to not going back to how I’ve been handling my school years, because although God has been helping pull through, I’ve noticed a steady decine in my overall grades when compared to how my freshman year went. And now that I’m starting junior year, if I do not prim up my study patterns, it’s going to literally mess me up. Losing 4kg in a matter of less than 2 weeks because of the overwhelming amount of things I had to do at the end of last semester was seriously a wake up call to me. It was the first time I had ever lost weight because of stress. I couldn’t eat. I hardly had time to eat. I averaged about three hours of sleep each day for four days straight. And ALL this could have been easily avoided if I spread the work though out the semester. And so I set three hours of study time each school day for this semester but I haven’t even stuck to one.

Haqhaqhaq😔

My sleep pattern’s a mess. I let social media suck me in or let conversations carry me away making me sleep late and wake up late, ending up always tardy for my first classes. And that’s not the only thing.

I have not studied a single thing, except during class sessions, since the semester began and things have started piling up and getting complicated. I have two quizzes on Thursday. I have two assignments due that day as well. And how many have I started working on or studied for? NONE.

I really would have. I think I would have, but I have trouble sticking to my structured time tables. I can easily give in to a nap, forfeiting my study time. Or maybe I have to meet someone during that time. Something either useless like s.m, or valuable, like conversations/conferences/programmes/church/meet ups/ seem to fill up my week and I find myself getting overwhelmed. And even also keeping consistent with this blog.

I really didn’t want this semester to go this way.

But in another sense, I did.

The thing is, I don’t want to forfeit those meet ups or conversations or programmes, because they are opportunities for people to hear the gospel; either it’s me telling them or me learning from them. I want to grow more in Christ, regardless of school work, because after all, God is more important than school. I also don’t want to neglect this blog as well because it’s always an opportunity for people to see the work of God in His child’s life.

My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.

Proverbs 3:21‭-‬23 ESV

However, I know I have to be more diligent and strict with myself in terms of discipline, and knowing when to decline some meet ups that would just not be wise to have/go for. Nevertheless, in discerning which is wise or not, I’ll need the help of the Lord. I’ll also need Him to help me centre my life truly around Him; in every aspect. And if it means, having to forfeit updating this blog, or meeting with people, to study more or spend more time with Him, then so be it. I’m really tired though so I’ll go take a nap now.

Have a great day loves. ❤🌹❤

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